2

Around 6am I gave up on sleep and stumbled my way out of my bedroom and somewhere in the vicinity of the bathroom door. Strange, the pizza Aixa ordered never showed up last night.

"Ouch!" I rubbed my forehead and stepped backwards. Why was the bathroom door shut? Aixa shouldn't be up for another hour, let alone be taking a shower. I try the knob. Locked. What is this? I pound on the door for a second but don't get any response. Of course, she probably can't hear me over all that water.

I look towards the living room and decide that 5 yards is too far to walk and sit on the floor instead. If she doesn't get out of there soon there won't be any water left for me!

Finally the water stops and I stand up to give her hell. And then a buzzing starts. What is she doing in there? Minutes fly by and I'm fuming. We agreed that I'd get the first shower since I have to get to work first. It's been like this since I moved in! I get up at six, I get a shower, dressed, and then wake her up. What on earth would make her jump the line without telling me?

The door cracks open and steam rolls out obscuring my vision. When the steam clears, what's standing in front of me is not Aixa. It's Scooter.

"What are you doing here?" I pause. "And what were you doing in the shower?"

Scooter just laughs. "What? No hello for your new roomie? I'm going to start thinking you don't like me."

Well, I don't like you Scooter, but Aixa seems to, so I'm not going to press my point. "The shower?" I know he wasn't taking a shower- not when he smells like a dungheap.

"Ooh. That. Nah. It's just a steam bath for Willy."

"Willy?"

"Yeah. I was giving my Willy a bath! Hah! Get it?"

No, and I don't ever plan to.

Scooter disappears back into the bathroom and pulls out a very ugly, and very stunted tree. "My bonsai. It's good for them. Make's 'em all green and stuff."

He's stroking the tree like it's a pet. How weird can this get?

"Anyway, good ta see ya Den. I'm gonna go give my woman a good wake-up."

Ewww!

Ding-dong!

First Scooter and now the door? What's going on today? I look out the peep-hole, but don't see anything. Cautiously, I open the door.

An extremely short, spotty delivery boy looks up at me. "Pizza?"