4

“T-Type?” I stuttered. I’d spent hours preparing for this interview, reading websites, books, anything I could get my hands on that would guarantee me success in every endeavor. I’d cleaned up my resume, practiced interview questions like ‘So tell me a little about yourself’ and ‘Where do you see yourself in 10 years?’. The one thing that I hadn’t practiced were my actual skills.

“Yes. How many words?” After a few horrified nanoseconds he added, “per minute?”

I couldn’t even stammer out an answer. How do I know how fast I typed? I don’t type- I don’t even text message if I can help it! My mind began to spin, taking me all the way back to the required typing classes in high school. I never did particularly well, but I was sure that I’d improved since then. Surely. With age comes wisdom and all that, right?

“Twenty.”

“Deni, you’ve applied to be the Vice President’s private secretary and you only type twenty words per minute? Do you even know how to take dictation?” I shook my head ‘no’ and he continued, “I really expected better from you. Perhaps you should go back to your station.”

Shaking, I rose. “Mr. Zepp, I’m really, really…” And there I stopped. Mr. Zepp’s eyes had stayed on my face through the whole, though brief, interview. But now they’d slid down to my chest. Righteous indignation took over.

“Mr. Zepp, I am not the kind of girl that will do just anything to get ahead! I have morals, I have standards. You should be ashamed, you should…”

That was when I felt something dry and crinkly brushing against my stomach.

“Deni-”

But I’d already seen it.

The paper towel that I’d stuffed into my shirt had slipped down at some point and my bra was showing through. That wasn’t the worst of it. A while back, one of my friends had found this bra in a specialty store and given it to me as a gag gift. I guess in my rush I didn’t pay too much attention to what I put on under my clothes. That was a big mistake, because I was now standing before the bank’s hiring manager wearing two faces. My usual, horrified one, and a great big yellow smiley faced one.